Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
