I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
