what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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