Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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