dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you inspire me to be a worse person
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
