I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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