I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
