no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
