Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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