Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
