Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
