Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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