I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
