I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
