The brown eye won't let me do that either.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
