I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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