I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
