Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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