Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
