this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
is wine microwaveable?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
