What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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