ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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