you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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