So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
