is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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