as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
