so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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