So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
