I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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