so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
