she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
