So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
