I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's rum buckets o'clock
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
