My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
