Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
