you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
