oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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