i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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