is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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