If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
