wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
