Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
