I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So. Much. Porn.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
