I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
