Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
All the doctor said was why
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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