What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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