I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
