Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
