it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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