Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
