That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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