conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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