when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
