At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
